Apr 24 2009
When The First One Leaves The Nest
High school graduation has come and gone and you are now facing the fact that your first child is getting ready to leave the nest and go away to college. All through their senior year of high school you have been trying to prepare yourself for this day but here it is and you still find yourself unprepared. You have helped your college bound child do laundry, pack suitcases, and load the car, all the while having flashbacks of their childhood. You remember all of the tears over scraped knees and elbows, tucking them into bed at night, and scaring away the monsters that lived underneath the bed. Now, they are getting into the car ready to make the long drive to college and you will stand there waving until they have driven out of sight. The first one has left the nest.
Let me tell you something. That is exactly how I felt when my son started college. Of course, my experience was a little bit different because my son couldn’t fit all of his belongings into his car so his dad and I had to load our car and follow him. I remember carrying all of his things up three flights of stairs to his dorm room and being exhausted by the time we were finished. It was fun and exciting helping him unpack and getting to take a tour of the college and meet his roommates. My tears didn’t fall until my husband and I started to drive away. I looked back to see my son standing there waving to me as we drove out of sight, and I sobbed most of the way home.
You would have thought that I was never to see my son again the way I cried and carried on. What was I thinking?! He came back home the very next weekend with two bags full of dirty laundry for me to wash and dry for him, and he has been home almost every weekend since starting college. AND, he is almost done with school for the summer and will be coming home for the entire summer break. That of course means that my husband and I will have to make a trip to his college on the last day of school to help him load his car and ours with all of his belongings to bring home.
So, if your first child is getting ready to leave the nest, let me give you and uplifting way of viewing it. Your child may be getting ready to leave the nest but will return. This is not a permanent move and it does not mean that you will never see them again. View this as an excuse for you and your spouse to take a weekend vacation and go to the college for a visit. You can stay in a hotel and take your child out for dinner, and then spend a relaxing weekend just the three of you. Also, think about how nervous and excited your child is to be going off to college. They will be experiencing what it is like to live on their own, meet new friends, and enjoy their independence.
I can pretty much guarantee you that you will be better prepared to let go by the time they start their second year at college.
